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| 15/09/06 | | Remembering the art of good conversation |
A couple of years ago I started a little group in Melbourne called Emergence. It’s open to anyone who wants to talk about the application of complexity thinking to organisational issues. It has had some ups and downs but I’m seeing a resurgence of interest in the group. New members have joined and they want to make something of it.
The group, as you can imagine from the topic, consists of highly educated and thoughtful people. We have scientists, consultants, engineers and managers as members. I have been surprised, however, at how bad we are at having a conversation. I went looking for ways to help the group this morning and found this list of things to avoid and I think we might infringe on ever point.
- Do not get tempted to answer questions that will move you away from your topic
- Do not have separate discussions with just one person
- Do not interrupt people when speaking (unless they don't seem to stop...)
- Do not let a few active people set the agenda
- Do not use slang or bad habits like saying "right" after every sentence
In particular we have one member who dominates the conversation and jumps wildly from one topic to the next. I skyped Nancy White for her thoughts and she suggested we introduce a ‘talking stick’-like object. This will help.
The list of things to avoid comes from the Oxford Research Group but I found the list at this student’s group site. They also provide a list of things to do. I’ll share both lists to our Emergence group as a potential set of guidelines.
- Allow the audience to influence the agenda, so that you speak to their real concerns
- One argument at the time
- Stay cool even when the audience doesn't
- Be objective
- Finish one topic before starting the next (if possible)
- Respect the chair
- Ask those not so active
- Avoid “dangerous” topics that will move the discussion away from disarmament (the Oxford Research Group is interested in peace negotiations)
- Ask people to repeat their question if you are not sure you have understood it
- Establish common ground
I also went looking for structured dialogue techniques and wasn’t able to find any described in detail. Are you aware of any specific dialogue techniques which you think we should try out. It’s a great little group for experimenting with a number of methods. They are up for it.
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Comments
Shawn:
Lots out there.
Try works by christina Baldwin (calling the circle) and William Isaacs (dialogue and the art of thinking together) for starters. I have a list of useful books and resources here:
http://www.chriscorrigan.com/wiki/pmwiki.php?n=Main.FacilitationResources
Posted by: Chris corrigan at September 15, 2006 11:13 AM
Thanks Chris. Your wiki is an excellent resource. I have a copy of William Isaacs' book. Fabulous work but too much information to digest for my little group. Christina's ideas look directly applicable.
Posted by: Shawn Callahan at September 15, 2006 11:49 AM
We've also just put together a new website for The Art of Hosting, which might also be useful.
And remember Shawn, there is no cookbook for how to do this well. It's about honing in on what's important and then being able to hold space well as the conversation unfolds. Design is as critical as anything. What you'll find on the Art of Hosting site though is some useful design information.
Posted by: Chris corrigan at September 16, 2006 9:25 AM